angus voltaire and the truth about bacon

please, everyone fall in love with the bacon of the month club. explanation follows.

see, weird bacon stuff has become this crazy new adventure of mine. i was recently at a candy store looking for gummy burgers (with no luck, which incidentally ended in marzipan burgers a la moi) and i found bacon flavoured everything. i was on a budget so i bought bacon flavoured mints for my partner. i tried one and i literally almost puked, which says a lot because i'm pretty sure my stomach is ok with most gross things, probably except brains and tripe.

moving on, i was reading a back issue of bust magazine and there was this section where a couple editors and design-y type contributors gave readers obscure gift ideas. this is actually where my affair began, really. someone at this magazine is my soulmate of humour. one of the gifts she had been peddling was this collectors edition of the big lebowski, and it came in a bowling ball. yes folks, a bowling ball. how effing gross and awesome is that?? anyway so i got it for v, but he really didn't have the reaction i anticipated. it was rather disappointing, although in retrospect i'm pretty sure i got him the present soley for my own witnessing someone else experience what i felt when i came upon such consumer glory. do i learn my lessons? never!

so anyway, my soulmate of humour at bust magazine suggested the 'bacon of the month' club. whaaaa?? yup, you get a different kind of obscure bacon delivered to your door, once a month. then you also get things like a newsletter and a t-shirt and even a pen, but really all i care about is the weird bacon delivery.

bay-cone

anyway, wouldn't this be the grossest and most awesome birthday present of all time? ya-huh. i feel that if they would be so inclined to ship outside of the states then my life would finally have meaning. maybe i'll just show up at v's door in a fancy outfit with a pack of bacon every month. DIY recession bacon club birthday.

for the record, the woman with all these brilliant gift ideas is named callie watts, and she is apparently the 'customer service/craft lady" for bust. can i work with you, please? hey, i almost forgot to put the website, even though it's hyperlinked up there for y'all. but whatevs. go to www.gratefulpalate.com and have your life changed, but only if you live where obama reigns.