angus voltaire and the truth about bacon

please, everyone fall in love with the bacon of the month club. explanation follows.

see, weird bacon stuff has become this crazy new adventure of mine. i was recently at a candy store looking for gummy burgers (with no luck, which incidentally ended in marzipan burgers a la moi) and i found bacon flavoured everything. i was on a budget so i bought bacon flavoured mints for my partner. i tried one and i literally almost puked, which says a lot because i'm pretty sure my stomach is ok with most gross things, probably except brains and tripe.

moving on, i was reading a back issue of bust magazine and there was this section where a couple editors and design-y type contributors gave readers obscure gift ideas. this is actually where my affair began, really. someone at this magazine is my soulmate of humour. one of the gifts she had been peddling was this collectors edition of the big lebowski, and it came in a bowling ball. yes folks, a bowling ball. how effing gross and awesome is that?? anyway so i got it for v, but he really didn't have the reaction i anticipated. it was rather disappointing, although in retrospect i'm pretty sure i got him the present soley for my own witnessing someone else experience what i felt when i came upon such consumer glory. do i learn my lessons? never!

so anyway, my soulmate of humour at bust magazine suggested the 'bacon of the month' club. whaaaa?? yup, you get a different kind of obscure bacon delivered to your door, once a month. then you also get things like a newsletter and a t-shirt and even a pen, but really all i care about is the weird bacon delivery.

bay-cone

anyway, wouldn't this be the grossest and most awesome birthday present of all time? ya-huh. i feel that if they would be so inclined to ship outside of the states then my life would finally have meaning. maybe i'll just show up at v's door in a fancy outfit with a pack of bacon every month. DIY recession bacon club birthday.

for the record, the woman with all these brilliant gift ideas is named callie watts, and she is apparently the 'customer service/craft lady" for bust. can i work with you, please? hey, i almost forgot to put the website, even though it's hyperlinked up there for y'all. but whatevs. go to www.gratefulpalate.com and have your life changed, but only if you live where obama reigns.

the scientist

once, as my favourite song was playing in the background, i was dumped by the man of my dreams. i hate the song now, but that's because it was coldplay. time ain't so bad.

big burgers!

ah, the legendary big burger...

i have heard whisperings of its existence over the course of 2 years, but until saturday i had never had the pleasure of experiencing one for myself. so so meaty.


rachael created a masterpiece of a burger. aptly titled 'the mexican swine flu burger', this bad boy was made of beef and decased chorizo sausage, with refried beans, pulled pork, homemade salsa, avocado, and crunchy tortilla.


gah, look at the size of that thing. i was so proud that someone i know is this creative and fantastic with food. you can feed me anytime, rachael.

big burgers take 3 people to cut it into edible portions

some of the dudes made what they called 'the tally-ho' burger. it's named after a restaurant in hamilton, which i've never been to. there was much despair about the gravy not being as dark as tally ho's, but i thought it was fantastic.

i cannot adequately impart the taste of this creation. there are absolutely no words that would do it justice. writing about it is making me salivate for more.

unfortunately, the pictures don't show the roast beef atop the burger patty, subsequently flooded by gravy...


big burgers, bbq, beer, and birthday. saturday was just fine.